As I sat there staring at the path ahead

Seemingly blocked by the felled trees from a lumberjack called nature

Any energy I had was dissipating, along with my desire to take one more step forward.

The madness of the last few days was slowly exiting, stage left.

I’m cold on the outside, feeling almost frozen.

I’m however warm in my thoughts, my head clearing like the clouds parting to reveal a single ray of sunlight.

I’m not there yet, much like my journey, but I’m OK here, for now.

I need to be here

The feeling of the cold frosty here was warming me, making me feel alive.

My senses are slow

The rustle of a distant deer scampering across the frozen ground barely rouses me.

The truth is it may not be a deer at all, I don’t know or care what it is.

My “Do Not Disturb” sign is up.

My heart rate is slow, I can hear my heart beating loudly but softly.

It comforts me.

There’s peace in having piece of mind.

Knowing that the path ahead is not always clear and being OK with that.

These woods which have grown here for millennia have cradled me today

They have made me feel part of their ongoing story

They’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after but I will not.

I will find my way forward and may never return to this place, if I do it won’t look the same.

But it will stay with me as it is and I will think of this place, knowing full well that the madness will return, again and again.

Knowing that when it does that I’ll be OK and that it will leave me alone once again, in a different place, with my thoughts.