The Tower by Aimee M
I waited for you there, you know?
On the bridge, over a canal that sneaks towards the Western Tower
I’ve seen this picture before
It seems like it’s on every camera ever invented
You can’t take a bad photo of it, even if you tried.
It’s a colourful day, almost too colourful, too vibrant.
I prefer the black and white images myself
It reminds me of the old days, before I was born, as if everything was black and white before I came to be, then came colour.
The truth is they weren’t black and white at all, they were mostly grey
Is that just me bringing it down to my dark place?
The place where I smash my half empty glass against the wall
I do that, sometimes
don’t we all?
I got here early today, you know?
I didn’t want to miss you
Maybe you could’ve got here early too
We could spend more time together
We need that
We need time to be as we were, once
I waited for a long time, you know?
As the clock on the tower ticked, minute by minute
Getting ever closer to the time we agreed to meet
When it was planned, I was happy and conent
But not for long
I sensed that you weren’t as excited as I was
It was a nod, a pause and an OK
Still the clock ticks
When the hands of the clock in the distance struck 12:00
They struck me to the ground
Like a boxer who’d been hit one too many times
I didn’t want to get up, I was too scared to get up
If I didn’t see you I’d be hit again
But you weren’t there
Firstly I’d scan the crowds of people of your height, your hair colour, your swagger
Then, after a while I could not eliminate anyone
They all could’ve been you
Small children, old people from the days of black and white
Then it was anything that moved
Until finally I mistook a mailbox for you, just from the corner of my eye
I was embarrassed to stand there, you know?
I thought everyone would look at me and know
It would make sense to them
Who would want to be near this person?
With bloodshot eyes and turned down mouth
It wasn’t meant to be like this
I don’t look like this, normally
I don’t normally feel like this
As the day dragged it and me along so painfully slowly my head dropped
As if the weight of recognition pulled and pushed it down
That you weren’t coming
I turned hollow and angered at the same time
I gripped the rail as hard as I could
The impression of my hand will be there until this bridge crumbles and sneaks towards the Western Tower
You didn’t break me, you know
Nor did I break myself
And I will be here until this bridge crumbles and sneaks towards the Western Tower