The crisp air meets me immediately as I open the door and step out.  It is cold and fresh and invigorating.  I relish these moments, when I am at the beginning of something.  The woods are calling me and I am alone with my thoughts.  Bliss.

 

The snow crunches underfoot.  As I walk the sound is repetitive, almost meditative.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  It takes me away from my worries, my agenda, my schedule.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  I stop, and at first the silence is deafening.  Then I can hear only the clear, early morning sounds of the birdlife.  Birds, all kinds of birds.  Some are whistling and calling out.  Some are busily scratching at the forest floor.  Some are flying above, soaring, free.  I crave that freedom. 

 

I walk on and get lost again in the sound of my steps.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch. Crunch.  In these moments I can think.  Not conscious thought, rather I let my mind take me where it needs to go.  Today the thoughts are deep and personal.  They are taking me to a place that I often find myself.  It is a place of seeking, probing, hoping and sometimes lamenting.  Whilst there is no regret, there is always wondering.   And today, I wonder.  What could have been, where I could be, why I am where I am.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Crunch.  Things flow in and out of my mind, some sweeping through and passing quickly, others lingering as if to tempt me to explore them.  Some I am not ready to explore and I send them on their way.  Others I invite to play around in the mazes of my mind.  I hope that they will help create some kind of order and understanding.  Sometimes they leave before I am ready, seeming to create more muddle than clarity.  Perhaps it is just that their conclusions are not what I was hoping for.  Perhaps they have challenged my perceptions and it sits uneasily.  Perhaps they do that to ensure I come back to them, to explore some more.

 

The sun is now touching the tops of the trees as it rises to the new day.  I see it through the branches and welcome its intrusion.  I will be back tomorrow, for I love walking, and escaping and thinking in the woods.